Maybe the most unfortunate couple ever
Trauma and us? Please don’t lump me in with your trauma.
No, not you. I’m talking about my wife, Sarah, and me. In my first post about trauma, I took us through my personal cancer journey. I realized I can’t make multiple blog posts about myself, so this will just be going through Sarah and my life/trauma timelines. Yes, trauma filled a lot of our lives. I realize it’s probably weird to others. But to us we need to have a good bit of dark humor to get through it. I just hope it’s not uncomfortable for you. Buckle up!
At the age of 6, Sarah’s birth mother dies due to metastatic breast cancer. At the age of 6, I receive an ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia) diagnosis.
2003 – I relapse; my cancer is back. I receive a bone marrow transplant and intense radiation and therapy. Throughout the next year, I spend most of my time in the inpatient oncology unit under protective isolation. Protective isolation is a type of room and designation for immunosuppressed patients; all clean equipment, everyone in the room wearing masks, etc. The prognosis is not looking good. In and out of the ICU. Seizures. I think I was supposed to die, but I managed not to. 🙂
2004- I enter 5th grade as a medically traumatized child. I completely missed 4th grade due to my illness. You can probably imagine how my classmates viewed that socially awkward kid that disappeared for a school year and didn’t quite fit in anymore. Aka – I was bullied a lot in school. It wasn’t until the age of 17 that I felt comfortable in my own skin again.
Sarah’s sister receives a cancer diagnosis, and her father realizes something is going on. He seeks out genetic testing. Sarah and her sister test positive for a genetic mutation that causes a lot of early onset cancers. However, Sarah’s father tests negative.
Sarah and I graduate our respective high schools and go to college! Sarah undergoes screening for various cancers multiple times a year through blood tests and MRIs.
2017 – Sarah and I meet and start dating! Given our emotional cancer baggage, it is nothing short of a miracle that we found each other.
2021 – Sarah receives her breast cancer diagnosis. I also propose to Sarah. Turmoil introduces itself into our lives. Fortunately, she has a great prognosis, but treatment is ongoing for the next 14 months.
Late 2022 – Sarah finished ongoing chemotherapy and herceptin (a chemotherapy-adjacent drug to treat breast cancer and prevent recurrence). She is then diagnosed with a leiomyosarcoma, a type of soft tissue cancer, in her leg. The oncologist believes it is completely unrelated to the breast cancer but instead due to the genetic condition. She undergoes a major surgery to have the cancer removed and luckily needs no further treatment because it has not spread.
2023 – Despite the trials and tribulations of the last 2 years, we get married!
I sort of wanted to get this history of our lives out of the way because I feel like it’s important to understand that about me as a caregiver. I hope to stop talking about trauma and dive into caregiving stuff very soon, so stay tuned!
If anyone is here, thanks for reading!